Santa's Carol

 Stave One

It was night on the Eve,

My friends who believe.

Santa's weight did creak

The old sled unique

When he went aboard to steer

Those eight magic deer.

The deer were champing;

The elves were stamping,

Cheering liftoff imminent.

Santa returned the sentiment.

The bag was loaded,

Full to near exploded.

The swirled, piled, sheets of white

Glimmered neath the gleams of light

Cast by stars in the sylvan night,

Startled by sled, deer, and Santa in sudden flight.

STAVE TWO

Santa chugged Mylanta, Alka Seltzer, Pepto, and Tums

Yelled at the reindeer, "Faster ya bums!"

The sleigh was hot with friction smokin',

As it lit on roofs and waited for Santa to place a token

In each stocking and beneath each tree,

No time to take even a pea

(There was pea salad on Andy Smith's table).

The elements of night were growing unstable.

Santa rolled up his sleeves:

"Gotta serve every child who believes,

From one to nine hundred and one,

Get all in on the fun."

STAVE THREE

In the still sylvan night

Perchance a swinging light

What or who this Holiest hour

With lantern a-glower

Puts foot before foot

Entrants boot by boot

Moon-dapple bower

What eyes sweep the room

Broomstraw across the gloom

Peruse yon sleeping tadpole

Gloved hand pulls out of the hole

In his bag a fragment of star

To place it in center of the scar

Of moonlight across the blanket scroll

STAVE FOUR

Pirate Pete hid among the rocks

Inside the many slopes and pocks

Listening for the swoosh of approaching sleigh and deer.

He lolled across the coarse stone sipping foaming beer.

In his hand a lasso to trap the fat man's ride,

A sword and pistol pressing his side.

"Swoo-" He hears it on high.

"-oosh'. He flings his rope to the sky.

With a twang the line grows taught;

Santa, elves, and deer are caught.

"Har," the delighted pirate cries;

"I've got you for all your lies.

Telling folks the reindeer are boys,

Giving out on the savior's birth mere toys;

I could make you walk a plank.

Arrr, in fact, my ship just sank.

Would ye be for giving a poor pirate lad a ride?

I'll take it and swallow my pride."

"Get in young man," spoke stern Santa.

"Folks like you make me need Mylanta.

What's this guff that I'm a liar?

The truth of Christmas is life's fire,

With a little harmless fun.

Hey, look what I've done.

I don't mean to make you cry, friend.

Take this gift and let our argument end."

"Arr; I'm a pirate; I can never change.

In the end, I'm gonna rob you though it seems strange.

Can you keep me an appointment for the mid of May?

For I intend to waylay you on the one called May Day."

"Certainly, I can;

Here shake my hand."

He let Pete down

And turned the sleigh around.

"Adios, you pirate," he yelled.

"Open your gift; it's swell."

The pirate removed the patch from his one eye

He opened the gift and began to cry.

"Arr, a teddy bear,

With curly brown hair.

Thank you, Santa Claus.

We'll not fight; there's no cause."

And Santa cried "Hi yo reindeer"

And sailed into a sky serene and clear.

STAVE FIVE

Next went sleigh and crew

To the lands of gloom and grue,

Where the heart of the season

Knows not spirit's treason;

But ministers to wrath and rue.

"Santa," said one elf named Joe,

"There's a child whose father says no

When asked if there is love named Santa.

The child has no gift;

He's not on the list.

Oh, Santa, what is the answer?"

Santa clucked sadly with woe;

"There is no answer friend Joe;

For magic dust I sprinkle

To make their hearts twinkle;

But, I cannot alter the nature

Of despair, of disbelief and failure

If hearts are closed and avenues cut off."

He choked with a sob and a cough.

That one's meager Christmas they served,

That one they lost the nerve.

Another one slept in booze and pills,

Soon to forget his worldly ills.

And when they left the plain of gloom and sadness

It left a stain on all their remaining gladness.

STAVE SIX

On the fly again

Santa rests, a toddy in hand.

He notes young Linda moved without warning;

She lived at the house below just this morning.

He sends elf Joe to reconnoiter

Searching here and across the border.

She's here, Joe signals;

It's the girl with the pigtails.

They swoop; they land.

Asleep in the sand

The whole family huddled.

The elf's approach, befuddled.

I don't understand why some must hide.

And Joe the elf stood back and cried.

STAVE SEVEN

'Round the globe in a twinkling

These stories are but an inkling

Of all the wonder encapsulated

In a journey love instigated

And where the sleigh landed and still

Runners burned holes in the ice like a hot grill.

All the jewels in the crown of the season

Form an afterglow more lasting than sight or reason.